Blogtrek

Woodchucking

At the Outer Banks we saw many sandpipers. I have always thought that was a strange name, but then it reminded me of the woodchuck phrase: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? So is it that way with sandpipers? How much sand would a sandpiper pipe if a sandpiper could pipe sand? The image of a sandpiper piping sand is a silly one to me, but I suppose no more than a woodchuck chucking wood. What's that? Stuffing pieces of wood in its cheeks? Chopping the wood with its teeth? I suppose a sandpiper pipes sand through its long beak.

A long time ago I came up with other versions of the woodchucking question. I call this general pastime woodchucking. The woodchucking I came up with earlier was : How many bears would a bare bear bear if a bare bear could bear bears? Well, how many cubs does a bear usually have, anyway? How much bark would a bark bark bark if a bark bark could bark bark? That one is not so good. Bark is an intransitive verb, although I suppose you could imagine a dog, or if you stretch your imagination, a ship, spewing out pine bark mulch when it barks. I decided to look all over the Internet for woodchuckings by searching in Google for "how much * would a * if *", and by trying to find them myself. Here are some of the entries I got:

How many books would a bookmark mark if a bookmark could mark books?

How many flags would a flagpole poll if a flagpole could poll flags?

How much ground would a groundhog hog if a groundhog could hog ground?

How much wind would a windbreaker break if a windbreaker could break wind?

How much web would a weblog blog if a weblog could blog webs? (how much does this web blog?)

How many kings would a kingfisher fish if a kingfisher could fish kings?

How much chain would a chainsaw saw if a chainsaw could saw chain? (Don't try this one. The saw will buck and chop off your hand.)

How much wocky would a jabber wock, if a jabber could wock wocky? (from http://www.planethalflife.com/features/mailbag/mailbag112701b.shtm)

How much trouble would a noble cause if a noble could cause trouble? (from http://www.rpgageoff.com/news/geoffnews.html)

But the winner I feel is this one, which outdoes all the others by a huge margin:

How much C would a C++ if a C+ could +C? (from http://www.geocities.com/EnchantedForest/Cottage/4388/geobook.html)

I'd have to go back to my C++ book to check up on that one.