Clarabell is dead

Today I heard that Bob Keeshan is dead at 76 years of age. This is the first time I have heard of the name. I recognize him more from the childhood names I knew him as, namely Clarabell and Captain Kangaroo. He was one of my favorite childhood actors, although as a child I always knew him as Clarabell or Captain Kangaroo. I could never find the real name of this person.

I knew him primarily as Clarabell, when I watched Howdy Doody during the early 1950s when I was an early grade school child. I liked Clarabell's silliness. He would squirt seltzer water on everybody. He had a box on his front and a horn, and he would honk the horn a lot. He never uttered a word, but made motions instead. Whenever Buffalo Bob had a table full of bells and he would ring the bells in turn to play a tune, Clarabell would ruin it by getting out a cowbell and either putting the cowbell amongst the intended bells, or simply ringing the cowbell. It would sound out of timbre and out of pitch both with the other bells and it would sound silly. Buffalo Bob would always say, "Do!!!" (rhymes with "go") after these episodes. Tonight I saw him attempting to get Flub-a-Dub to shut up by holding his beak shut. In a later episode Buffalo Bob told him to put the goulash in the pot, and instead he put a pair of galoshes into it and ruined the meal. I will always remember Clarabell; I was never quite sure as a child how to spell his name.

In 1955, in addition to playing Clarabell, Bob Keeshan started his own show: Captain Kangaroo. I did not watch this as much; I was 9 at the time and much more interested in Mickey Mouse Club, and in a few years, I was getting too old for these shows. But I do remember some Captain Kangaroo episodes, including those involving my most favorite character on those shows, Bunny Rabbit. In one episode, Bunny Rabbit had a deck of cards and wanted to play a card trick. He showed Captain Kangaroo the deck fanned-out face down and asked Captain Kangaroo to select a card. He did and put it face down on the table. Bunny Rabbit said it was the 4 of clubs. Captain Kangaroo turned it over. Sure enough, it was the 4 of clubs. Bunny Rabbit played the trick again. He showed Captain Kangaroo the deck fanned-out face down and asked Captain Kangaroo to select a card. He did and put it face down on the table. Bunny Rabbit said it was the 4 of clubs. Captain Kangaroo turned it over. Sure enough, it was the 4 of clubs. Bunny Rabbit played the trick again. He showed Captain Kangaroo the deck fanned-out face down and asked Captain Kangaroo to select a card. He did and put it face down on the table. Bunny Rabbit said it was the 4 of clubs. About this Captain Kangaroo got suspicious, and he turned over the entire deck. Every single card in it was a 4 of clubs.

Captain Kangaroo played a part in my life, and also in my son's life in the 1980s. I heard tonight that he entertained three generations of children: Boomers, Generation X, and Millennials. Captain Kangaroo was similar to Mr. Rogers, but was sillier. What is surprising is that all three generations treasured him. I could see that from Millennials, since he was easy going and was kind to children. But his silly wit was similar to the shows presented to Generation X (e.g., Sesame Street), and he appealed to Baby Boomers as well, as he was similar to Clarabell, who he also played. His was a universal children's program. I suppose he would have appealed to Silents or to the generation that is coming up in a year or two.

It is said to hear that Clarabell and Captain Kangaroo are dead.

Students for Academic Freedom

A group at the University of Colorado, Students for Academic Freedom, have opened up a web site to gather complaints about "left-leaning" professors. They say these professors tell only half the story, discriminate against conservative students, and try to indoctrinate students. Fair enough. I hope they are just as zealous about going after right-leaning professors, including those that tell only half the story, discriminate against liberal and libertarian students and try to indoctrinate students. Else they can complain about themselves.

Candidate Friendliness

Why did Kerry win in Iowa? I think it was because he was friendly. Some other candidates don't seem to have the warm connection with voters that Kerry has, for example, Wesley Clark. This is going to hurt him against Bush. Bush has an optimistic message in his State of the Union address, while Clark seems to be as stern as, well, a military general. How friendly are the others? I rank the candidates this way on friendliness:

1. John Kerry
2. John Edwards
3. Joe Lieberman
4. Dennis Kucinich
5. Howard Dean
6. Wesley Clark
7. Al Sharpton

Clark is second last. However, I don't think Kerry can carry the day any better, as he seems to be associated with losers like Dukakis. It looks like Edwards might be my choice, but he looks like someone made him out of a Presidential Candidate Kit. He needs to show some realness in his approach.

Whoever the Democrats nominate, he has to look and speak optimistically or Bush is going to have that much more in his advantage in November.

Oh, by the way, what did you think of the Dean Scream on Monday night? He made the crowd go wild, but would that work in the Oval Office? I now rank Clark as my favorite with Edwards a close second because of Dean's fit.

Now it's Steve Martin

Last month I complained to Virginia Delegate Kirk Cox because he threw a computer-recorded survey call on my telephone. Despite my complaint, he did it again. After that he stopped, until tonight, when I got yet another survey call. I was about ready to have it with Del. Cox until I found out that this time the culprit is Senator Steve Martin. He called me on the same number (703-488-9800) tonight with a survey call. So if you see this number on your Caller ID, don't answer it.

I emailed him back saying that I did not appreciate his call and to stop sending them to me. As long as these legislatures (and so far they are all Republican) are going to do this, I am going to have to regard them as little better than the common street telemarketer.

Microsoft: The Big Bully

There have been several takeoffs on Microsoft's name. For example, Apple Computer in the late 1970s named its software "AppleSoft", in a pun on "applesauce", but also on "Microsoft". The name sounds like "My crow's soft.", which sound like someone can't get it up, but with the species of bird specified. I haven't seen many cracks like this lately. And certainly things like this should not affect the multi-billion-dollar giant. But today apparently it had.

A story came out today that a 17-year-old Vancouver, British Columbia, high school student named Mike Rowe established a website for himself called www.MikeRoweSoft.com. So now Microsoft has stooped down to suing the youngster and getting him to abandon the name. Perhaps if bully Microsoft would be more polite, it could get Mr. Rowe to put a plug for Microsoft on his site, but not now. Microsoft, long known for playing games with its software, now is playing games with its own name.

Iowa Caucuses: How I rate them today

I got an appeal from a friend today urging me to support Wesley Clark for President. He quoted an article from Michael Moore which supported Clark. Most of the statements seem unfounded, but one that sticks out like a sore thumb is this: his background is military, and he is anti-war and pro-environment. That is a rare combination indeed. The only people who I think had the same oxymoronic combination are national heroes like General Dwight Eisenhower or General Ridgeway. These people saw war as something that had to be gotten done and they did not relish it, even though they were actively involved in fighting it. If Clark is like these people, that would be a strong point in his favor. I still favor Dean slightly, but that could change in coming days.

Here is how I rate the Democratic candidates today during the caucuses:

1. Howard Dean
2. Wesley Clark
3. John Edwards
4. Dennis Kucinich (I hear he was pooling votes with Edwards)
5. Dick Gephardt
6. John Kerry
7. Joe Lieberman
8. Al Sharpton

Twilight Zone intro

A little bit of humor for a change:

An ominous voice says, "You are now entering…"

Scene: A city park, where a man is walking, or trying to walk, because he has to dodge the leavings of dogs on the sidewalk throughout the park.

Voice: "…The Twilight Zone…"

[music]: doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo …

The voice corrects itself: "… Correction. The Toilet Zone."

Caucuses, Gaffes and Lies

Well today is the big day. The Iowa caucuses meet tonight to decide on Iowa's choices for the Democratic candidate for President of the United States in the 2004 election. It looked like Dr. Howard Dean was going to win easily, but the contest has become close; it is close to a four-way tie.

Today I went to the Fox news site and found two video interviews by Fox news, one of Dean, and one of Iowa Senator Richard Gephardt. Gephardt said the usual stuff that I would expect of a Democratic candidate - doubting what Bush is doing and presenting Democratic agenda. So far, most of the candidates have been like that, making me indifferent between all of them as of late - all of them would be a much better President than Bush is. But when I listened to the Dean video I heard something that makes him stand out from the others.

When asked about the gaffes he has made recently, he said, "A gaffe in Washington is when somebody tells the truth and people in Washington don't think they should have." Interesting. If that's the case, then we want people who commit gaffes to be our next President, because we can trust that President to tell us the truth. In other words, statements made by Washington politicians are either gaffes or lies.

So I looked among the gaffes of Dean on the Internet and found this one from the Concord Monitor: "I still have this old-fashioned notion that even with people like Osama, who is very likely to be found guilty, we should do our best … in positions of executive power, not to prejudge jury trials." If this is a gaffe, then I want all the Democratic candidates to make gaffes all over the place. Our government is based on the principle that a defendant is innocent until proven guilty, and that this is a universal principle that holds for all defendants, including Osama. To me it is surprising that so many people hold this against Dean, so much that he took a partial retraction of it. Maybe people in this country don't want a democracy and a government of laws. All that Dean was stating was that the job of judging is given to the courts, not to the executive branch or especially the media.

Another one is where he said he wanted the support of men driving pickup trucks with Confederate flags on them. Again, I think this is what he should want. Not only should these men vote for Dean, but they should also replace those Confederate flags with US flags or with Earth flags.

In another one, he said that his brother was a POWMIA when actually he was an anti-war protestor who visited Laos and was never seen again. This is an easy mistake to make: he used an acronym. Acronyms are quite often incomprehensible, and even when they are comprehensible, they can easily become monsters, since they are divorced from the concept they came from. An example might be the password or the identification number that authorizes one to some service or benefit. These words seem plain enough and understandable. But when you replace them with ID number or PIN, you have created a monster. You tend to use PIN where you shouldn't or even when it does not make sense. I have heard many references to "PIN number", which means "personal identification number number", which shows that the user has forgotten what the acronym means. Dean apparently forgot what POWMIA means and used it to mean any missing person. If he had taken the trouble to spell it out, he would have started to say, "Prisoner of war or missing in action", and then would have noticed that it implied military service by his brother, and would not have made the remark. Don't use acronyms; it is the easiest way to be misunderstood.

But on the whole, I think that Dean's "gaffes" actually make him a better candidate. In light of his comment today, I say it makes him more truthful than the other candidates, and that is what we need in the government, the media and other places in our society today: the truth. I would rather have a President that makes gaffes instead of one that tells lies. So therefore I lean towards Dean for the Democratic candidate for President.

Statistically complicated data

I have posted a new mathematics page, namely "Hamlet, Part II: Complicated Numbers". In this one I show that there are seven levels of complexity of numbers, and that almost all numbers that we deal with in everyday life, even those discussed among professional mathematicians, are in the simplest category, the countably complicated numbers. These numbers take a thousand symbols or less to describe. The next category is statistically complicated numbers, taking a thousand to a quadrillion symbols to describe. The best example I can think of, of a statistically complicated number, is ten thousand digits drawn at random in a row.

But not only numbers can be complicated. So can groups of numbers, and in fact databases. For example, the account history of all account holders at the Bank of America is statistically complicated; it probably takes billions of symbols to describe, as one has to describe each person and each transaction separately. It is a marvel in our age that our computers can handle such databases. But isn't it easier to think in terms of countably complicated structures where you can? Instead of stating for each person in a group of people, such as a Girl Scout troop or a military unit how much food each requires in a day, instead come up with some rule saying that each person requires, say, 3.2 kilograms a day (don't use this figure for planning purposes; I made it up). That is countably complicated, instead of listing it for each person separately, which would be statistically complicated for a group of 1,000 or more people.

In many places, it may pay to research into finding countably complicated rules to describe things rather than statistically complicated databases.