Blogtrek

Declaring Weapons Of Mass Destruction

By 2002 December 8, Iraq must declare all of its weapons of mass destruction, reads one headline today. Declare? To me that is unusual language, that Saddam must declare his weapons of mass destruction. It makes me think of his morphing into the image of Scarlett O'Hara, who then says, "Well, I'll Declare! Weapons of Mass Destruction!" In any case, Saddam may have his own idea of what "declare" means, as this script shows:


[Saddam Hussein standing up front in his usual uniform. Behind him are some buildings and a collection of inspectors. To the right and front are UN Secretary General Kofi Annan and US President George W. Bush]

Annan: Saddam, by December 8, you must declare all of your weapons of mass destruction or face serious consequences.

Hussein: You are saying, Kofi, that I must declare all of my weapons of mass destruction.

Annan: Yes, you must.

Hussein: OK, I will. [presses button on gadget]

[In the background a blue-green cloud emanates, and all of the inspectors collapse to the ground.]

Hussein: Sir, I have just declared a weapon of mass destruction. Do you want me to declare any more weapons of mass destruction?

Bush: No, that will be OK, Saddam. It is now our turn to declare. We declare a Regime Change!

[Big explosion in middle of screen; Saddam vanishes.]

Here is my declaration: that Saddam Hussein destroys all of his weapons of mass destruction without harm to any one and without anyone going to war with anyone.